A winter solstice full moon reflection, on the light that shines through the dark times
Have you had a dark night of the soul? Maybe you’re in one, or maybe it’s ancient history. When I connected to mine this is what came out: a letter to my 2013 self. This was a time when there started to be more darkness than light in my mind. It was when I reached the tipping point and burnt out, though I didn’t realise until much later that that’s what it was. This is what I want to tell her, and you too if you are struggling.
Dearest Kirsty,
Well first of all I want to tell you my heart is breaking for you. What a hard time. You are so lost. You want to help bring positive change to the world but it’s all so big and you feel so, so alone. You feel like you have been pushing things along and hauling others with you and you are exhausted. You have some dark days ahead of you, but that’s your path, the road you have to travel to find yourself. You will feel like you are broken. You will want it to end. But this dark night will show you strengths you never knew you had. It will be a fountain of courage. It will expand your compassion and teach you about Love. It will teach you how to really look after yourself, and how to find peace. And because eventually you will choose to look after yourself, you will be gently shifted back into alignment with your soul, and you will know joy.
I will tell you the secret. There is no action you can do out there to get all the things your heart yearns for. Your mind can’t conceive of where to go or what to do to make your dreams come true. You do have some fantastic ideas, but they’ll burn you out because you feel you have to do it all yourself. You have to look inside. It’s all there. You feel disconnected from others because you’re disconnected from yourself, hiding away in fear. In trying to protect yourself you’re making yourself unhappy. You don’t realise how small you’re playing. You will, and that will hurt. That’s ok because it will spur you on.
What I really want you to know is that this is such a beautiful journey. Allow yourself to feel the depths of your feelings, they are there to be felt. They are your teachers and guides, get to know them. All these things that don’t feel right – that’s because they’re not. Trust your intuition. You don’t have to wait for everything to fall to shit to do something about it, listen to your body when it talks to you. The trouble is, it’s all very well to tell you these things but I know they won’t make sense until you live them. You will have to figure out how to do things the hard way.
To ask for help you don’t have to know who or where it will come from – it will actually come from places you never even dreamed existed! All you have to do is be willing for help to arrive. Put the call out to the Universe. There’s no wrong way to do that. You are supported, because you are one with the fabric of life itself. If you concentrate you can feel it as the blood pulsing through your body and the breath moving your lungs. Picture your roots going into the Earth and your soul connecting to everyone else’s soul. Make time to wander in the bush. And meditate. I would go back and tell our ten year old self to meditate every day, imagine how awesome that would be!
It’s not as bad as it seems. Believe it or not there are other ways of looking at the world and more importantly, of being in the world. You don’t realise these exist yet, no one ever showed you. You will come to believe in miracles, and that little light you have will grow so big that your body won’t contain it any more, and that you will start to chase away the shadows of the world.
With all my love,
2016 Kirsty
There are lots of pieces of wisdom that I wish I learnt earlier in life, but by the same token there’s nothing I would change because it has all got me to where I am today with a solid set of skills to bring to the world, because I learnt them thoroughly doing it the hard way. We all have our lessons to learn. The negotiable piece though is how long it takes, and that’s where someone like a coach can come in and help guide you through places you might otherwise have become stuck. To me that adds up to being able to do more of what we feel called to do in the world in a way that works for us.
One of my coaching mentors is Gabby Bernstein, whose Spirit Junkie Masterclass moved me ahead leaps and bounds. I’m excited to announce that I am an affiliate* this year, so if you sign up through this link you also get my full ‘Radiant Life’ six month coaching package valued at $1200 on the house! I believe that spiritual work is essential in successfully facing the world’s crises, as we Earth Warriors do, because it puts us powerfully in touch with who we are. Gabby specialises in teaching in a really grounded, non-dogmatic way that works for people from all backgrounds. Click the link here for more information! Available this week only!
*being an affiliate means I might get a commission. I only promote things I really believe in, like this one, and I’ll always let you know x[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
